did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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