Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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