This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
