2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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