We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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