community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My ass is underappreciated
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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