hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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