she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
