Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
