Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
either way he was missing a nipple.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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