i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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