do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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