Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
