she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
