he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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