Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
