Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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