yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
