I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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