How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
