I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
