addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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