gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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