You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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