I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
