If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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