How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
