WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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