Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
