Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
