This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize