someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize