Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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