Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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