Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
