I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I had to cum in my sink.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
