Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
