You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
