Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
