Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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