I am in a vortex of obligation.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
