It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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