I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
