So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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