At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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