My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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