Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You love popeyes more than me

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

Fav 48 7994 1461
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level

Fav 14 4032 1698
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(727): View more from Florida

it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling

Fav 6 2826 1117
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(916): View more from California

You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.

Fav 6 4257 1497
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(760): View more from California

Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.

(1-760): View more from California

Party city is having a sale on maracas

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(647): View more from Ontario

Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up

Fav 2 618 463
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(812): View more from Indiana

Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade

(1-812): View more from Indiana

I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.

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