i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it hurts more in the daytime
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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