I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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