i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
