new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i will never coherently bang her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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