take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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