So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
