Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
