Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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