return my video game
I just made out with a guy for $7.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
