Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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