these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
