Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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