I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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