I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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