Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
