How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
